today is different

Today was the first time i've been able to listen to this song in about 2 months. At first i deleted it because it reminds me of him and since we were no longer talking it completely ruined the song. A couple weeks later i thought, "i still love that song though, of course i can still listen to it". i downloaded it again. Nope, still couldn't. So, again, i deleted it and every time it came on the radio i would switch stations as quick as i recognized exactly what song it was.

Then today happened. i don't know quite what's different about today except i finally thought through the fact that i can only control so many things. And those things i can't control i shouldn't stress myself over. Kind of a go-with-the-flow thing but with a positive attitude. Make the best of the situation and do what i can to the best of my abilities. Literally, that is all i can do.

Now i have no idea how this changes my feelings about this song, but it was on the radio as i was leaving work. My hand went straight to change the station when i paused (i hadn't started driving yet, don't worry). i don't remember just what i was thinking but it was something like "i can handle this now". And i listened to the rest of the song! in the grand scheme of things it is a teeny little win. But in the here and now, after an off week full of crazy emotions and school work, it was huge. All i could think afterwards was, "i can totally, totally handle things now". i don't know exactly what all those "things" are, but for now this is enough.

pumpkin cupcakes

i was already going to make cupcakes for my evening class, when i realized i didn't want to just leave it at cupcake and frosting, but add cute decorations of some kind. Edible decorations. My sister suggested Pumpkin Cupcakes (in honor of it finally being Fall) and my mom suggested making them look like actual little pumpkins. Genius!

Here's the first batch of decorations:

And the second:

For my first tries at actual cupcake decorating i think they turned out rather cute, ya?

mountain drives

As of yesterday it is officially Autumn; which just so happens to be my absolute favorite season! And the mountains are celebrating with festive reds, yellows, and oranges. it's absolutely beautiful.

it's been a busy (and way fun) weekend so when i got home i just lazed about for a while. But there was this underlying feeling of antsiness and i needed to get out. Where to? i felt like a drive through the canyon was just what i needed to cure this antsy-pants feeling and get in some good alone time outside of the apartment.

As i was driving i just wanted to take pictures of everything, it was that beautiful. i didn't though; because i was driving, duh! But i did stop at a few of the scenic overlook bits so that i could capture a smidgen of the fabulousness that is the mountains. Now the pictures aren't all that due to being taken on my phone (i didn't even think about taking my actual camera with me). But now the memories are frozen and i can always remember what a lovely time i had blasting my music with the windows down driving through the canyon soaking up all that beauty-osity!

nostalgia

Nostalgia: (n) a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time. Origin: 1770–80;  < Neo-Latin  < Greek nóst ( os ) a return home + -algia -algia

Over the weekend i had the opportunity to catch up and have a homework party with my best friend, miss Momo. We'd reminisce of times past and the topic of nostalgia came up. This led me to dig through my baby box and memory box and see what mementos i've kept over the years. Stuffed animals, Valentine's Day cards, elementary school projects, high school cap and gown, and letters amongst some other odds and ends.

Rifling through the letters i found one with my full name typed out on the front in the fanciest font you'll ever see. it was small excerpts of my baby blessing that a woman in our ward at the time had done up for my parents. Reading it gave me the same feeling as when i read my patriarchal blessing. There are things i can see that have played out true and some yet to come. Which leads to my question: can you be nostalgic for the future? if you go by the dictionary definition, then no, you can't. You aren't returning in thought or fact to some former whatever. But there is still a wistful desire; a sentimental yearning...

my music professor

Being an Early Childhood Education major i get to take the fun classes associated with elementary school such as art, gym, music, theater, and dance. Well i've taken the art, dance, and gym classes and am currently enrolled in music. it's already fun getting to learn the elementary school songs and we get to create a children's book based on a song. To top off all of that fun, my teacher is just fab. Everyone i talked to said to get Jaccard and i was lucky enough to land a spot in his class.

So you can imagine my confusion when the first session of class comes around and we're all patiently waiting for him to arrive. And waiting and waiting. The entire class (about 25 or so girls) are checking our emails and wondering why on earth our dear professor has yet to arrive. Halfway through the class we decide he isn't coming and it's too late to get anything done anyways. So we leave. Later that afternoon we all receive an email from dear Bro. Jaccard apologizing for missing class. He explained that in his 20 years of teaching he had never forgotten to show up to teach; except that first day of class. He was happily writing away in his office (next to our classroom) and realized 35 minutes into class that he should be there. He apologized again and told us what we should bring to class the following session and promised to see us there.

The following session comes around and in walks the cutest little older man: our dear Bro. Jaccard! Seriously though, he is the cutest little thing. And he's crazy knowledgeable about everything. He's basically traveled the whole world and knew my last name was Hungarian AND the Hungarian pronunciation without me saying anything.

Bro. Jaccard knows all you need to know about singing, instruments, voice registers, and teaching children. in fact, like my other fun class teachers, he sometimes instructs us as if we're elementary students. The other day we were talking about voice registers. He told us that most people who say they're tone deaf are actually just singing in the wrong register. Here's how you know: lay your hand on your chest right below your collar bone and say the words to the Pledge of Allegiance. Feel the vibrations? Now do the same but say the words in your best Minnie Mouse voice, all high-pitched. No more vibrations. That, my friends, is your head voice which is where you should be singing (unless you're going for that raspy loveliness). Now obviously you can't explain that to the little children. it'd just fly right over their little heads. instead we took our voices "hang-gliding". As silly as we all felt it was entertaining and solidified the concept of voice registers. 

That's basically what we get to do every class. Bro. Jaccard teaches the formal concept and then we participate in the activities we'd use to teach our students. Now who wouldn't love that?

Developmentally Appropriate Practices

Being an Early Childhood Education major means we focus on Developmentally Appropriate Practices (DAP for short). Whilst discussing DAP in my curriculum class today we focused on what common misconceptions are, what it actually is, and why it's effective.

So many people think of teaching as babysitting. The teachers sit and let the kids run the classroom and play all day while they don't learn anything. OR the teacher is extremely strict and just lectures the whole time. This is where DAP comes in. it's not a curriculum, but a pedagogical philosophy; a holistic approach to teaching where we incorporate the whole child as well as all of the subjects; an approach that requires a highly organized classroom where everything is intentional, even the child-directed activities.

By the "whole child" i mean all aspects of their being: physical, social, emotional, cognitive, and spiritual. The spiritual aspect is tricky to incorporate due to the strict rules of religion in the classroom. But what i've learned is that the spiritual aspect is when we, as educators, are treating our children like children of God, because that's what they are. When you have that one child who's just being a pill, think of him in that light and your entire perspective changes. Your intentions change because you know the greater purpose in your teaching.

The holistic approach involves various styles of instruction as well the Common Core subjects and the "extras". You can include dance and music in your Math, English, and Science lessons. in fact, sometimes it's more effective. You can also integrate those subjects so that your students are getting a more well-rounded understanding of them.

The classroom is organized to facilitate large group, small group, and one-on-one interactions. There are areas for play, reading, and writing. The decorations encourage learning. Everything is deliberate. Even the way the tables are set just so because you don't want to provide a runway for children to be running all about the classroom. The teacher's questions and activities are intentional in their educational purpose.

To the observer, it may look like chaos. Sometimes it might be. But the well-trained educators can make play educational in purpose. They can take the moments when students get distracted and turn them into teaching moments. Rather than get frustrated that it's taking extra time away from the planned lesson, they can find a way to incorporate the lesson objectives into that discussion.

i don't know what you call babysitting but this sure isn't it.

breaking out of the shy shell

i've always been shy. Relatively unsure of unknown social situations in which i have to fend for myself. Am i going to say the right thing, ask the right questions, will they think i'm interesting or weird? This is where the "reading into things" stuff comes in.

if i'm the one to initiate social interactions (such as dinners and parties) then i take on the hostess role. is everyone having fun, is everyone included, did i forget to invite someone? So much stress when it really isn't needed.

Well, lately i've had more opportunities to come out of my shy shell. i've been attending ward activities, ward prayer, group activities, etc. i've gone with friends to festivals, bonfires, and barbeques. Throughout the last little while of becoming a bit more social, i've learned that it isn't so scary. i don't need to be reading into things or be quite so shy. Granted, i'm still not the social butterfly but i'm also not the timid turtle hiding in my shell.

Sunday Night Gamefest

 Sunday night is the night of ward prayer and nice notes, right? Well it's also the night when people generally end up playing games after ward prayer. Last night it just so happened that about six of us decided to play Backwards Apples-to-Apples (where you play the green cards to one red rather than red cards to green). it was actually rather funny because we then had to create a story with all of the red cards we won.

 Well by the time the game had ended a few more people had joined us and we decided another game was necessary: Truth or Dare Catchphrase. The game is played like normal Catchphrase but when the buzzer lands on you, you have to choose a truth or dare instead of the other team getting points. Well it ended up landing on me first. Not sure how daring i wanted to be i chose truth and had to answer who my crush in the ward is. One problem though. He was playing the game with us! Obviously i couldn't actually say his name because that's embarrassing all on its own and what if he isn't even interested? To get around it i ended up telling everyone that my crush was in the room with us. Since there were about four guys it gave them something to guess. Phew...

As the game continued there were questions about kisses and dares involving going in random ward members' apartments and completing a task. And one guy had to kiss the top of my foot...which actually wasn't so bad because the alternative was him pulling my toe ring off with his teeth...Ya. The last round comes and all is good, right? Well kind of. i had managed to avoid getting the buzzer since my truth question and it lands on my the last round! Since my last one was a truth i had to choose a dare (as per our rules). The options ranged from sucking on a guy's earlobe to sucking on his Adam's apple and i finally managed to barter it down to kissing a circle around his face (from forehead to chin to forehead). Oh my goodness.

The moral of this story is beware of Sunday Night Gamefest because the crazy ends up coming out in us and things get, well, crazy. Haha.

not my day

The last couple of days have not quite been fab. Today finally got to 5:45 PM when all i had left was visiting an exhibit for class and then one of my night classes. i walk up to the exhibit doors ready to get my peaceful feelings on and....it's closed. it closes at 5 PM Monday through Friday. Seriously? This was THE perfect time that i had set aside. it then started to drizzle. i took that as a sign to walk home, clean, and bake something. There's no way i was going to be able to last through a three hour class after that. The results of my evening? A clean kitchen and bathroom and Butterbeer Cupcakes.

For those who don't know what Butterbeer is, it's "described as tasting 'a little bit like less-sickly butterscotch.' Butterbeer is served cold in bottles and hot in 'foaming tankards'. In Hogsmeade, it's sold at the The Three Broomsticks  and The Hog's Head, although the fact that the latter pub's stock was described as 'very dusty' suggests that it was not sold there very often. In Diagon Alley, the drink has been known to be sold at the Leaky Cauldron." (http://harrypotter.wikia.com/wiki/Butterbeer). For those who don't know any of those references, you obviously haven't read Harry Potter and you need to. So get to it.

you have been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft & Wizardry

i finally got my letter for Ethan done and sent!

music pt. 45

i only have favorite songs for a couple weeks at the most because i'm always finding new songs. i mean, i listen to a variety of music for the most part but as long as they're my favorite i listen to them on repeat a million times each day (with other songs interspersed in there). it worked out really well when Momo and i were roommates because our favorite songs were often the same and she's just like me in that she repeats them. So we would blast them while we got ready and neither of us ever got sick of the songs. it was rather dandy.

Well, Melissa showed me these two songs about a week or so ago and they are my new favorites. :)

Never Shout Never: Happy

Never Shout Never: On the Brightside (the video is weird but the song is great)

bestie best buds

My brother and i like to be crazy. Like, i send him the most ridiculous letters with pictures i colored just because i want to make him laugh. Last week it was Digimon and Aang the Last Airbender and a wanted poster of Batman’s nemeses so he knows who to be on the lookout for. This week was a map of the grounds of Hogwarts because if he’s going to go there i don’t want him getting lost (i found the map online and just colored it in). Next week i’m sending him the official acceptance letter complete with a picture of an owl on the envelope. i don’t know where you would get a real owl to take the letter..

Pretty much he is my bestie best bud. i call him Ethypoo all of the time, especially in front of his friends. Whenever i’m at home we have an Emme and Ethan’s Day of Fun complete with soundtrack.

This last time he was able to drive because i am now a licensed Colorado driver of 21 years or over:

 This last time i also tried to steal his hat:

 He wasn’t too keen on that:

 And he tried to tell me to give it back:

 He’s the greatest kid and an AMAZING chef/baker man. His crepes and cinnamon rolls are to die for as well as the Christmas cookies he discovered a few years back. He has some big ambitions for school and someday owning a little cafe/pastry shop (similar to that of Gourmandise in Salt Lake City. if you haven’t been then get in your car and go now because it’s fabbity-fab-fab!). He’s just so dang awesome and i miss him every day…

you are you and that's perfect

The lesson in Relief Society today was by far my favorite. We discussed how we all feel awkward and down on ourselves when we’re meeting people and in groups. How we always second guess ourselves because we put the rest of the world on a pedestal. Why do we do that? We found that every single one of us thinks that. But why?? We didn’t necessarily dwell on the why but we moved on to the ‘how can we overcome this’? Part of it is the fake-it-till-you-make-it philosophy. You put yourself out there and just try. Eventually it doesn’t become so scary. Another part is realizing who you are. Not your name and major kind of whatever but really who you are as a spirit child of our Heavenly Father. We ALL have the most amazing divine potential and yet we hide in the dark because we’re afraid to let that light show. So you know what? Turn on that light bulb! Light that candle! Whatever lighting fixture you’ve got going on inside you, turn that sucker on and show the world just how dang amazing you are!

 Of course we weren’t told those exact words…but you get the gist. it’s ridiculous how the world has become a place where we’re always told that we aren’t enough so now no one believes in themselves. Absolute poppycock! This needs to change. So be happy with who you are and turn on that light!

toe ring

While sitting in church today, i started looking at my toe ring. i didn’t take it off my toe or anything weird like that, i’m not THAT weird. But i was just looking at it sitting there on the second toe, the one next to the big one, the pointer toe? i never know what to call them…anyways. i realized that this small piece of jewelry i have had for almost 8 years. That’s right! And it has yet to break! i mean, i’ve used a couple other ones at different points in time to change things up but then they either turn my toe green/blue, or break , or get lost somehow. Not this one. At the Erie Town Fair during my freshman year of high school Liz and i were meandering the booths and i came across this little treasure. $8 and perfect. No crazy jewels because those catch on socks and things, simple wave design, exactly what i was looking for. Amazingly it still hasn’t broken. it may be silly but this seemingly insignificant piece of jewelry is a statement of who i am. And i love it.

self-less good deeds

According to the wise words of Joey Tribbiani, "there are NO self-less good deeds!" Why? Because you want to feel good about serving someone and therefore, it is selfish. Unfortunately for Phoebe she was not able to find a self-less good deed and now we live in a world where Joey Tribbiani is right. i know. Weird.
in Sacrament meeting today there were a couple of testimonies about serving and how it isn't really an altruistic thing to do because while serving others we're trying to serve God and thus serve ourselves. The general definition of altruism involves being self-less and serving another at your own expense. "Self-less" is built right in to the definition! You can even check Google dictionary because heaven knows i had to. So i wonder, does it really make us selfish; wanting to serve someone because we feel great about doing those kind deeds? i haven't come up with a good answer to that. What i do know is, selfish or not, i love to make others happy and i guess we can just leave it at that.