This week included the Great Lessons course and the beginning of the math courses for my training. There's a lot more for us to participate in with these courses so i only have a few doodles (that's a good thing though).
Last week i began
the Montessori training program at Westminster
College. Up to that point
everyone at Walden would tell me that it is definitely an intense program but
completely worth it. That, along with knowing i had quite the commute ahead,
had prepared me for this.
i mean, i only
just finished school so i’m still in that mode. And yes, all of that knowledge
and schemata has come in handy (APA formatting? Such a pro!). What i wasn’t
prepared for was the transformation process.
Method is not only an educational theory/philosophy; it’s a way of life. it’s a
way of recognizing the spirituality in all things. Everything has purpose, goals,
and ways of going about life (sound like Pocahontas?). it begins with the
individual’s spiritual preparation by developing patience, control of the will,
commitment, and humility. Maria Montessori said, “we have to watch ourselves most
carefully.The real preparation for education is a study of one’s self. The
training of the teacher who is to help life is something far more than a
learning of ideas. It includes the training of character, it is a preparation
of the spirit”.
It starts with ‘you’;
or rather, with ‘me’. in the Observation course, Paul Epstein questioned, “if
we can’t even properly take care of ourselves as adults, how can we be expected
to properly care for the development of children?”
Two weeks of
theory, cosmic education, and personal care plans came into focus. Obviously, i’m
in this program/profession to teach children. i care for children and i want to
make a difference. But how can i truly care for these precious spirits, these
precious individuals, and help them reach their fullest potentials if i am not
in a spiritually healthy mindset myself? if i’m exhausted, cranky, rushed,
crammed,…how can i honestly focus on the development of the children entrusted
oneself - one’s wholeness, being, spirit – is essential in the preparation of
me. Not because i don’t agree with taking time for myself to be whole and
healthy, but because I didn’t realize how essential it is in my professional
goal. i want to make a difference, change children’s lives for the better, and
save the world to the best of my ability.
On the way home
from FHE on Monday, the folks in the car got into a discussion about desires to
save the world and what that means. According to The Lawyer and Mattycakes,
people who say they want to save the world are younger than 25; those older
than 25 have moved past this illusion and continued on with their lives.
i listened to
the conversation and explanations; all the while thinking inside, “but i AM
going to save the world”. it’s not about donning a masked cape to flit through
the skies and fight crime. it’s about guiding a child through the sensitive
stages of his life; helping him develop self-regulation, concentration, and an
overall thirst for knowledge; helping him navigate the societal norms set in
place and the politics of the classroom culture. it’s about guiding him to
understand who he is in this world; helping him understand that he plays an
integral part and the world would be in a sad state without him; guiding him to
find where he came from.
Now, you can
take these thoughts from the religious perspective of a Mormon teacher. While
my religious beliefs do influence these thoughts (there’s no way for them not
to), it’s so much more than that. it’s an extension of my beliefs. My thoughts
are about the knowledge that i will be playing a vital role in the lives of
these children, their children, and their children’s children. Will the
children in my classroom thrive? Will they become leaders, inventors, those who
push beyond the expected? Well they sure have that potential. Every one of them
can be ANYTHING they so choose.
What a great
responsibility it is to be the teacher of these children. i’ll admit it’s
slightly terrifying. But it's also exhilarating because i know i can succeed in this task; and becoming a
Montessorian is a wonderful journey in becoming that teacher.
routine is just that – a routine. Wake up, brush teeth, contacts, make bed, get
ready, go; always. Unfortunately though, this has become “almost always” due to
the fact that i have not made my bed all week.
To the Average
Joe this is no big deal; a fairly common occurrence, in fact. For me? This is
chaos. As a Type A, organizational, neat-freak everything has a place and
everything needs to be in its place for the world to be right. My bed needs to
be made a specific way, my clothes need to be folded (or hung) and put away, my
sandals are paired in the darling basket by the door, the books are properly away
on the shelves, and the extra blankets are folded neatly at the foot of the
bed. There’s an order to all things.
though, has been Week 2 of the Montessori training program. i slowly got in the
habit of simply going from brushing my teeth to getting ready for the day;
thus, nixing making the bed altogether.
My morning excuse is that i don’t have
time (but let’s be real, it takes all of 90 seconds). This frame of mind is
starting to bother me, though, because leaving an unkempt bed is not how i operate. it’s just not right!
“So just make
your dang bed!” right?
Well…yes and no.
Yes, because that’s where the self-control of life comes in and i can just do
it. No, because…well because. i realize that isn’t an acceptable answer (do all
answers in life have to be acceptable?).
The whole point
of this post is not to debate whether or not I am capable of making my bed
(obviously, I am). The point is that I haven’t made my bed this week. And that
While i love the Montessori training program i'm in (i'll explain that in a different post) it does make for some very long days. True to form, i can't sit still for that long without daydreaming or finding some way to keep my mind on the lecture. i've taken to doodles; fairly mindless, thus allowing me to keep my focus on what is being taught.
Well, i'm actually rather proud of these doodles because i find them rather fab. So without further ado:
it was a short-lived relationship between me and the ArmyMan. We'd been exclusive for a week before i got that pit in my stomach. i attributed it to school nerves since i was just beginning classes up at Westminster College for the summer. After i could tell the school nerves had dissipated, i could still feel that pit. i hadn't slept well for a couple of nights and so took the time to pray about why i was still feeling this way. What could possibly be wrong?
Then i knew why.
As much as i always thought if the ArmyMan and i were to be together it would be a for sure 'yes'....it isn't. it's quite the opposite. For whatever reason (which is unknown because he'd been a really great boyfriend) it isn't right for us. And i knew it in my core.
When we ended up talking about it, he let me know that he'd actually had the same feeling for a few days; the feeling that we weren't right for each other.
Things ended with us wishing the best for each other and no hard feelings over our relationship not panning out. After all, it's best we follow that prompting and find what is right for us rather than try and force anything.
We are still friends, in a way. We're not not-friends but we also aren't buddy-buddy either. And i'm ok with that; because i know it's for the best and that things will work out in each of our favor in the end.
it's truly amazing how this opportunity played out. i had applied for nearly 20 summer jobs and was attempting to network for Fall teaching positions since my USOE license was still being processed; none of them were panning out. Then a previous colleague recommends Walden.
From the moment i walked in and was greeted by the elementary director, i knew this was where i wanted to be. it just felt...right. The initial interview was short and to the point with some light-hearted discussion. An appointment was immediately made for the following day to volunteer in the classroom i would potentially teach. Let me tell you, it only made me fall more in love with this school. While i wasn't extremely familiar with the Montessori teaching style, that short experience made me want to be an expert in it. The catch was, in order to be hired on for this position i would need to take part in a Montessori training program over the summer and the following school year (to this i thought "i'm still in school mode since i only just graduated, so now would be the perfect time to certify with another credential").
Things were discussed, i chatted with Westminster College (where i will be taking the program), and i decided that it was all worth it to teach at Walden.
That same week i was offered the position!
i was able to take the last couple of weeks of school to volunteer in the classroom and get to know my future students. My class will include a mix of first, second, and third graders (the 6-9 age group of the Montessori method); meaning that this year's first and second years will be my second and third years in the Fall.
Honestly, i believe that none of the other potential jobs worked out because i was meant to take this opportunity; to use my summer to certify in Montessori teaching and fill the position at this school. it's where i need to be.
The ArmyMan has recently reappeared in my life. Recently as in the last couple of months. Previously (due to his disappearance from my life for about a year) i had discounted any interest in him. Why pursue interest in someone who isn't reciprocating? And then a while after things ended with the Fireman, the ArmyMan reappeared. We hung out. We went on a couple of dates. i was still feeling the need to just be single and date because i wasn't quite sure i was even ready for another relationship or if i honestly knew what i wanted.
After letting the ArmyMan in on how i felt, he was ok to take things slow. Shortly afterwards i realized i actually only want to date him. Yep. i then had to prepare myself to let him know because any relationship between us was kind of resting on my shoulders since i wanted to take things slow (not to say that i want to rush things, but just that my feelings have been made up in regards to him).
He and i went on a drink run whilst chilling up at Miss Calah's. After a rather hilarious joke, i decided there was no time like the present to tell him my current thoughts.
"You know a few weeks ago when i told you i wanted to keep things slow? Well i've also realized since then that i only want to date you. So there's that" (Romantic, huh?)
That was that and we decided to be exclusive. Who'd have thought this would ever actually turn into something? Well whoever did, i'm glad because, let's face it, i'm rather excited it has turned into something.