Monday, October 28, 2013

expectations of failure

The other day i was hanging out with the Fireman telling him all about the UCSS Conference i attended that day. The UCSS is the Utah Council for Social Studies; essentially i attended classes all day to learn how to better teach Social Studies in my future classroom. My cohort sisters and i were expected to go for class (it was that or watch a conference and write a paper). What began as a bit of an unsure Saturday turned out to be absolutely phenomenal and full of amazing activities.

i was so excited about everything i had learned that i had to tell the Fireman all about it when we were hanging out later that day. At one point i turned to him and told him that i could stop talking about the conference if it was boring for him. He told me to keep going because it was cool to see me so excited about this.

Afterwards he told me that i'm going to be an amazing teacher.

You have no idea how much that meant to me. While i know my teachers all want me (and my cohort sisters) to succeed, while i know that they're preparing us to the best of their abilities, it seems like all they tell us lately is that we're not going to succeed. At least not for the first year or so. it feels like they keep telling us that we're only going to be keeping our heads above water the first year, that the first year is the most stressful year we'll ever face, etc.

Just once, while i know they're all rooting for us to succeed, i wanted one of them to tell us that we're going to be phenomenal, that we're going to succeed, that we're going to help our students succeed because that's the whole point of any of this. Again, i know they're only telling us it's going to be hard to help us prepare, but at some point it gets to be extremely discouraging. At some point it almost sounds like we're expected to fail and, in turn, fail our students.

So that one comment, "you're going to be an amazing teacher", from a guy i'm still getting to know, made a world of difference. Here's to you, Fireman, for reminding me that i (and my cohort sisters) can succeed.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

music pt. 6

"Take Me (As You Found Me)" - Anberlin

Yep. Pretty much. :)

Monday, October 7, 2013

Am i smarter than a 5th grader?

Well i'll officially find out in 10-15 business days.

i took the Praxis this morning which is essentially Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? Except in the TV show you win/lose money. The Praxis determines if i can graduate and get my teaching license.

Essentially you have four sub-tests; one each for Language Arts, Math, Social Studies, and Science. The questions can be on just about anything related to those subjects that an elementary school child should know. And it's absolutely terrifying because i haven't learned most of this stuff since i was actually iN elementary school.

i finally got the test taken care of this morning after a weekend of studying random history, grammar, and fractions, and science. Technically i won't be getting the official scores for 10-15 business days, BUT the computer gave me a tentative score for each sub-test. And? i PASSED! With really good scores i might add.

Now i don't want to celebrate too early but the tentative scores DiD say that i passed so i'm going to hold onto that until the official scores come in.

Hopefully then i'll be able to actually say "My name is Emme and i AM smarter than a 5th grader" or at least "My name is Emme and i AM qualified to teach". You know, both are good.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

music pt. 17

There are just some songs that sing straight to the depths of my soul; all for various reasons. A lot of the time it's the power behind the song. it just hits you like this overwhelming feeling that you can't shake. The song can make me nostalgic, anxious, powerful, joyful, etc.
Generally i can tell the difference between a good song, a great song, and a phenomenal song by the goosebumps i get. Now, the labels "good", "great", or "phenomenal" aren't set in stone; the difference of time can change how i feel about a song. The songs that follow, however, i have yet to demote from "phenomenal".

Lamentations of Jeremiah: i sang this with my high school choir at Legacy my junior year (so about six years ago). Granted, this YouTube video isn't us singing but it does the song the most justice out of the videos i could find.

Lindsey Stirling & Peter Hollens: The Skyrim Theme song. Peter Hollens sings ALL of the parts. Impressed? You should be.

Transformers: Arrival to Earth (by Steve Jablonsky)

The Da Vinci Code: Chevaliers de Sangreal (by Hans Zimmer and choir) The slow build in this is just amazing.

Harry Potter: Lily's Theme (by Alexandre Desplat) if this doesn't tear at your heartstrings going i don't know what will.

Lea Michele: O Holy Night. i don't care what time of year it is; this song is ALWAYS appropriate and ALWAYS phenomenal.