grown-up decisions

it's hard to be a grown-up. And believe me, i definitely do not have it figured out (obviously) but i am trying. Again, it is difficult.

i've been spending time since graduation trying to figure out where i'm going to be next year. Working is the preferred answer. Teaching is the most ideal answer. But where? i tell ya, a most ideal option has crossed my path this week and i just feel good about it. Almost giddy. i shadowed one of the teachers at the school and got to work with some of the students to see just how this school's program worked. The result? The giddy feeling in my little heart. Then...

One of the metaphorical bumps in the metaphorical road of life came along and almost threw me from the road (metaphorically, of course). See, i like having a plan. i always have a plan and i feel great about my plans. When things don't go according to plan i have a hard time figuring out if it's because there's something else better for me or if i'm supposed to patch up that wee little bit of road to make my plan work.

Which lands me in my current position. Debating. Praying. Contemplating. Rewriting my plan 5 different ways. Napping. Researching. Making potential new plans. Seeking counsel of those who have their lives in order.

it's a lot. Hence why napping is part of that list. Making the decision and seeing it through will definitely be rewarding in the end but unfortunately my feelings towards grown-up decisions at the moment are more as follows: