i don't quite know what the point of this post is. Except to say that in all honesty, i'm doing great. it's been fairly hit or miss over the last month what with the dating aspect of my life.
Last weekend was rough. Doubts swirled and stormed and created new doubts and nothing i was doing (aside from career) really felt right and i couldn't figure it out. i would pray about an answer and then doubt my confirmation and it was driving me crazy. After some sound advice i realized why. This led to a complete change in the way i viewed my prayers and following answers. That led to the metaphorical weights on my shoulders being lifted and the knot in my stomach disappearing.
And for once after what felt like forever (but i'm sure was not) i felt light. Just...good. And i knew it would all turn out ok. (it helps that he took the finalness of everything so well).
i just..i get it now. And i understand the things i need to work on to truly be the person i want to be. Not that i'm a bad person now, but i want to be and can be so much more and i can see it now.
So i guess that's it, the point. That i understand now. it's a beautiful revelation, really. A light one. And it helps.