today is different

Today was the first time i've been able to listen to this song in about 2 months. At first i deleted it because it reminds me of him and since we were no longer talking it completely ruined the song. A couple weeks later i thought, "i still love that song though, of course i can still listen to it". i downloaded it again. Nope, still couldn't. So, again, i deleted it and every time it came on the radio i would switch stations as quick as i recognized exactly what song it was.

Then today happened. i don't know quite what's different about today except i finally thought through the fact that i can only control so many things. And those things i can't control i shouldn't stress myself over. Kind of a go-with-the-flow thing but with a positive attitude. Make the best of the situation and do what i can to the best of my abilities. Literally, that is all i can do.

Now i have no idea how this changes my feelings about this song, but it was on the radio as i was leaving work. My hand went straight to change the station when i paused (i hadn't started driving yet, don't worry). i don't remember just what i was thinking but it was something like "i can handle this now". And i listened to the rest of the song! in the grand scheme of things it is a teeny little win. But in the here and now, after an off week full of crazy emotions and school work, it was huge. All i could think afterwards was, "i can totally, totally handle things now". i don't know exactly what all those "things" are, but for now this is enough.

pumpkin cupcakes

i was already going to make cupcakes for my evening class, when i realized i didn't want to just leave it at cupcake and frosting, but add cute decorations of some kind. Edible decorations. My sister suggested Pumpkin Cupcakes (in honor of it finally being Fall) and my mom suggested making them look like actual little pumpkins. Genius!

Here's the first batch of decorations:

And the second:

For my first tries at actual cupcake decorating i think they turned out rather cute, ya?

mountain drives

As of yesterday it is officially Autumn; which just so happens to be my absolute favorite season! And the mountains are celebrating with festive reds, yellows, and oranges. it's absolutely beautiful.

it's been a busy (and way fun) weekend so when i got home i just lazed about for a while. But there was this underlying feeling of antsiness and i needed to get out. Where to? i felt like a drive through the canyon was just what i needed to cure this antsy-pants feeling and get in some good alone time outside of the apartment.

As i was driving i just wanted to take pictures of everything, it was that beautiful. i didn't though; because i was driving, duh! But i did stop at a few of the scenic overlook bits so that i could capture a smidgen of the fabulousness that is the mountains. Now the pictures aren't all that due to being taken on my phone (i didn't even think about taking my actual camera with me). But now the memories are frozen and i can always remember what a lovely time i had blasting my music with the windows down driving through the canyon soaking up all that beauty-osity!

nostalgia

Nostalgia: (n) a wistful desire to return in thought or in fact to a former time in one's life, to one's home or homeland, or to one's family and friends; a sentimental yearning for the happiness of a former place or time. Origin: 1770–80;  < Neo-Latin  < Greek nóst ( os ) a return home + -algia -algia

Over the weekend i had the opportunity to catch up and have a homework party with my best friend, miss Momo. We'd reminisce of times past and the topic of nostalgia came up. This led me to dig through my baby box and memory box and see what mementos i've kept over the years. Stuffed animals, Valentine's Day cards, elementary school projects, high school cap and gown, and letters amongst some other odds and ends.

Rifling through the letters i found one with my full name typed out on the front in the fanciest font you'll ever see. it was small excerpts of my baby blessing that a woman in our ward at the time had done up for my parents. Reading it gave me the same feeling as when i read my patriarchal blessing. There are things i can see that have played out true and some yet to come. Which leads to my question: can you be nostalgic for the future? if you go by the dictionary definition, then no, you can't. You aren't returning in thought or fact to some former whatever. But there is still a wistful desire; a sentimental yearning...

my music professor

Being an Early Childhood Education major i get to take the fun classes associated with elementary school such as art, gym, music, theater, and dance. Well i've taken the art, dance, and gym classes and am currently enrolled in music. it's already fun getting to learn the elementary school songs and we get to create a children's book based on a song. To top off all of that fun, my teacher is just fab. Everyone i talked to said to get Jaccard and i was lucky enough to land a spot in his class.

So you can imagine my confusion when the first session of class comes around and we're all patiently waiting for him to arrive. And waiting and waiting. The entire class (about 25 or so girls) are checking our emails and wondering why on earth our dear professor has yet to arrive. Halfway through the class we decide he isn't coming and it's too late to get anything done anyways. So we leave. Later that afternoon we all receive an email from dear Bro. Jaccard apologizing for missing class. He explained that in his 20 years of teaching he had never forgotten to show up to teach; except that first day of class. He was happily writing away in his office (next to our classroom) and realized 35 minutes into class that he should be there. He apologized again and told us what we should bring to class the following session and promised to see us there.

The following session comes around and in walks the cutest little older man: our dear Bro. Jaccard! Seriously though, he is the cutest little thing. And he's crazy knowledgeable about everything. He's basically traveled the whole world and knew my last name was Hungarian AND the Hungarian pronunciation without me saying anything.

Bro. Jaccard knows all you need to know about singing, instruments, voice registers, and teaching children. in fact, like my other fun class teachers, he sometimes instructs us as if we're elementary students. The other day we were talking about voice registers. He told us that most people who say they're tone deaf are actually just singing in the wrong register. Here's how you know: lay your hand on your chest right below your collar bone and say the words to the Pledge of Allegiance. Feel the vibrations? Now do the same but say the words in your best Minnie Mouse voice, all high-pitched. No more vibrations. That, my friends, is your head voice which is where you should be singing (unless you're going for that raspy loveliness). Now obviously you can't explain that to the little children. it'd just fly right over their little heads. instead we took our voices "hang-gliding". As silly as we all felt it was entertaining and solidified the concept of voice registers. 

That's basically what we get to do every class. Bro. Jaccard teaches the formal concept and then we participate in the activities we'd use to teach our students. Now who wouldn't love that?

Developmentally Appropriate Practices

Being an Early Childhood Education major means we focus on Developmentally Appropriate Practices (DAP for short). Whilst discussing DAP in my curriculum class today we focused on what common misconceptions are, what it actually is, and why it's effective.

So many people think of teaching as babysitting. The teachers sit and let the kids run the classroom and play all day while they don't learn anything. OR the teacher is extremely strict and just lectures the whole time. This is where DAP comes in. it's not a curriculum, but a pedagogical philosophy; a holistic approach to teaching where we incorporate the whole child as well as all of the subjects; an approach that requires a highly organized classroom where everything is intentional, even the child-directed activities.

By the "whole child" i mean all aspects of their being: physical, social, emotional, cognitive, and spiritual. The spiritual aspect is tricky to incorporate due to the strict rules of religion in the classroom. But what i've learned is that the spiritual aspect is when we, as educators, are treating our children like children of God, because that's what they are. When you have that one child who's just being a pill, think of him in that light and your entire perspective changes. Your intentions change because you know the greater purpose in your teaching.

The holistic approach involves various styles of instruction as well the Common Core subjects and the "extras". You can include dance and music in your Math, English, and Science lessons. in fact, sometimes it's more effective. You can also integrate those subjects so that your students are getting a more well-rounded understanding of them.

The classroom is organized to facilitate large group, small group, and one-on-one interactions. There are areas for play, reading, and writing. The decorations encourage learning. Everything is deliberate. Even the way the tables are set just so because you don't want to provide a runway for children to be running all about the classroom. The teacher's questions and activities are intentional in their educational purpose.

To the observer, it may look like chaos. Sometimes it might be. But the well-trained educators can make play educational in purpose. They can take the moments when students get distracted and turn them into teaching moments. Rather than get frustrated that it's taking extra time away from the planned lesson, they can find a way to incorporate the lesson objectives into that discussion.

i don't know what you call babysitting but this sure isn't it.

breaking out of the shy shell

i've always been shy. Relatively unsure of unknown social situations in which i have to fend for myself. Am i going to say the right thing, ask the right questions, will they think i'm interesting or weird? This is where the "reading into things" stuff comes in.

if i'm the one to initiate social interactions (such as dinners and parties) then i take on the hostess role. is everyone having fun, is everyone included, did i forget to invite someone? So much stress when it really isn't needed.

Well, lately i've had more opportunities to come out of my shy shell. i've been attending ward activities, ward prayer, group activities, etc. i've gone with friends to festivals, bonfires, and barbeques. Throughout the last little while of becoming a bit more social, i've learned that it isn't so scary. i don't need to be reading into things or be quite so shy. Granted, i'm still not the social butterfly but i'm also not the timid turtle hiding in my shell.