The ArmyMan has recently reappeared in my life. Recently as in the last couple of months. Previously (due to his disappearance from my life for about a year) i had discounted any interest in him. Why pursue interest in someone who isn't reciprocating? And then a while after things ended with the Fireman, the ArmyMan reappeared. We hung out. We went on a couple of dates. i was still feeling the need to just be single and date because i wasn't quite sure i was even ready for another relationship or if i honestly knew what i wanted.
After letting the ArmyMan in on how i felt, he was ok to take things slow. Shortly afterwards i realized i actually only want to date him. Yep. i then had to prepare myself to let him know because any relationship between us was kind of resting on my shoulders since i wanted to take things slow (not to say that i want to rush things, but just that my feelings have been made up in regards to him).
He and i went on a drink run whilst chilling up at Miss Calah's. After a rather hilarious joke, i decided there was no time like the present to tell him my current thoughts.
"You know a few weeks ago when i told you i wanted to keep things slow? Well i've also realized since then that i only want to date you. So there's that" (Romantic, huh?)
That was that and we decided to be exclusive. Who'd have thought this would ever actually turn into something? Well whoever did, i'm glad because, let's face it, i'm rather excited it has turned into something.
Tuesday, June 3, 2014
Tuesday, May 20, 2014
a real-life teacher
The results are in, folks, and...i got the position! i couldn't be happier and i am so incredibly excited to join the team of teachers at this school. i was able to patch up the wee little bit of road to make this work. it feels correct; this is where i should be.
Before summer school starts, i have the opportunity to go into the classroom for a few more days and get to know my future students a little better. How utterly fantastic! When i met the kids previously i just fell in love with their little selves and now i actually get to be their teacher. i truly feel just...honored with the opportunity. i can't wait.
Because i am a real, honest-to-goodness teacher of the kiddums now. is it August yet??
Before summer school starts, i have the opportunity to go into the classroom for a few more days and get to know my future students a little better. How utterly fantastic! When i met the kids previously i just fell in love with their little selves and now i actually get to be their teacher. i truly feel just...honored with the opportunity. i can't wait.
Because i am a real, honest-to-goodness teacher of the kiddums now. is it August yet??
Wednesday, May 14, 2014
grown-up decisions
it's hard to be a grown-up. And believe me, i definitely do not have it figured out (obviously) but i am trying. Again, it is difficult.
i've been spending time since graduation trying to figure out where i'm going to be next year. Working is the preferred answer. Teaching is the most ideal answer. But where? i tell ya, a most ideal option has crossed my path this week and i just feel good about it. Almost giddy. i shadowed one of the teachers at the school and got to work with some of the students to see just how this school's program worked. The result? The giddy feeling in my little heart. Then...
One of the metaphorical bumps in the metaphorical road of life came along and almost threw me from the road (metaphorically, of course). See, i like having a plan. i always have a plan and i feel great about my plans. When things don't go according to plan i have a hard time figuring out if it's because there's something else better for me or if i'm supposed to patch up that wee little bit of road to make my plan work.
Which lands me in my current position. Debating. Praying. Contemplating. Rewriting my plan 5 different ways. Napping. Researching. Making potential new plans. Seeking counsel of those who have their lives in order.
it's a lot. Hence why napping is part of that list. Making the decision and seeing it through will definitely be rewarding in the end but unfortunately my feelings towards grown-up decisions at the moment are more as follows:
i've been spending time since graduation trying to figure out where i'm going to be next year. Working is the preferred answer. Teaching is the most ideal answer. But where? i tell ya, a most ideal option has crossed my path this week and i just feel good about it. Almost giddy. i shadowed one of the teachers at the school and got to work with some of the students to see just how this school's program worked. The result? The giddy feeling in my little heart. Then...
One of the metaphorical bumps in the metaphorical road of life came along and almost threw me from the road (metaphorically, of course). See, i like having a plan. i always have a plan and i feel great about my plans. When things don't go according to plan i have a hard time figuring out if it's because there's something else better for me or if i'm supposed to patch up that wee little bit of road to make my plan work.
Which lands me in my current position. Debating. Praying. Contemplating. Rewriting my plan 5 different ways. Napping. Researching. Making potential new plans. Seeking counsel of those who have their lives in order.
it's a lot. Hence why napping is part of that list. Making the decision and seeing it through will definitely be rewarding in the end but unfortunately my feelings towards grown-up decisions at the moment are more as follows:
Thursday, May 1, 2014
graduation week
it's official, folks. i am a college graduate! And it is the weirdest feeling. Up until now i've always been in school; always preparing for the next year; everything leading up to this. And now it's done.
The fam in all of their awesomeness came to Utah for the week of my graduation to play with me and Miss Calah (and her family). We missed a couple of the boys and Miss Kierston's family due to previous engagements and whatnot but we did have everyone else. Which is quite the feat considering how big our family is.
it was simply lovely having the nieces and nephews here to play and seeing my siblings. They have always had my best interests at heart and i love them to pieces! This was also the first time we had all of the Toth sisters together in several years where we could sit and talk and simply enjoy. Of course we get together at the holidays but this was different. it's funny to see how similar we all are; our laughs, our phrasing, etc. if i do say so myself, we are also pretty darn funny (the whole fam is really).
Aren't they just fab? (PS i'm still waiting on a picture of me with all of the girls so the selfies will have to suffice).
The fam in all of their awesomeness came to Utah for the week of my graduation to play with me and Miss Calah (and her family). We missed a couple of the boys and Miss Kierston's family due to previous engagements and whatnot but we did have everyone else. Which is quite the feat considering how big our family is.
it was simply lovely having the nieces and nephews here to play and seeing my siblings. They have always had my best interests at heart and i love them to pieces! This was also the first time we had all of the Toth sisters together in several years where we could sit and talk and simply enjoy. Of course we get together at the holidays but this was different. it's funny to see how similar we all are; our laughs, our phrasing, etc. if i do say so myself, we are also pretty darn funny (the whole fam is really).
Aren't they just fab? (PS i'm still waiting on a picture of me with all of the girls so the selfies will have to suffice).
with the parents
with Misses Bryttney and Kierston
with Miss Calah
with Matt and Hyrum - Morgan and Ethan are honorarily there
We spent several days at the Midway house since it had the space to hold us all. We celebrated with cupcakes from The Sweet Tooth Fairy (only the best) for my graduation AND Mom's birthday AND Miss Tovah's birthday (which just so happened to be the very same day as my convocation).
She really is just adorable and crazy smart and crazy creative. An all around awesome kid. :)
Thursday, April 10, 2014
so many fab things!
Miss Momo is a married woman. And they are really the cutest little Hoosier couple you'll ever see. The wedding was small, simple, and absolutely beautiful. i am so excited to see them begin their married life because they are so good for each other and together. Last week at school was Teacher Appreciation Week. Which, when your students know what that means, is a very darling thing. The girls in my class brought me flower clippings and homemade cards throughout the week. it was so sweet because they simply love being at school and they seem to really enjoy having me as a teacher. it makes those slightly rough days worth so worth it because each of these kids is just amazing.
We did just that and had a rather good turnout. i made cupcakes, we brought some snacky things, and great playing was had by all. Miss Momo and her man ended being at the park playing Corn Hole AT THE SAME TiME (it really was a surprise) and they joined us for a wee smidge. They left for dinner and a pickup game of soccer started which ended up being the best thing ever. You know it's been a successful Spring/Summer day when your feet are grass-stained from playing outside. Simply lovely.
The Lawyer also got me hooked on Arrested Development and we're only two episodes away from finishing the whole series. i have to admit (considering i am now hooked) that it really is a fun show. Ever so punny and full of all things hilarious.
On Monday i made myself a book list (surprise, surprise, i know). i've done this countless times but this book list is different. BECAUSE it's in a jar. That's right. i always read the same things which isn't terrible due to the fact that i love them so much; i would like to branch out though. Get into the classics and whatnot. This is hard for me. i like the books i like because they suck me in. i get carried away and don't come back until the adventure is over. i have a hard time believing that's going to happen with the classics. Probably because i had to write papers on the couple i read back in high school...Anyways. So each book was put on it's own wee bit of paper, folded up, starred (it has to be cute, right?) and piled into my darling little star jar. Now, as i finish a book and need something else to read, i simply pull out a slip of paper and read that book. Wonderful, right? i started with Of Mice and Men by Steinbeck per the Lawyer's recommendation (his first recommendation is currently all checked out at the library). So far, so good. it's no Harry Potter but it is nice. We'll see how the rest of these pan out.
i was able to go visit the cemetery this week as well. i feel bad because it's been so long since i've taken flowers over to the family and Reeves (mine and Ethan's adopted buddy since the tree next to his grave provided excellent shade). For a bit there i tried to take flowers every so often to Grandma, her family, and Reeves. And then i forgot. But no longer! They all have fresh, happy, colorful flowers! AND they moved Reeves grave! i almost couldn't find him because he's no longer by his tree. He's out in the open sunshine. Thankfully, i did find him.
Life has some fab things going on. All of the above plus my upcoming graduation and a potential teaching job for next year (when i know if it's a for sure or not, i'll actually explain about that). Just, fabbity-fab things.
Friday, March 21, 2014
sparkly eyes, cupcakes, and the end of an era
Graduation is drawing ever closer. in almost one month exactly i will be walking across the stage to receive my diploma. With that day comes the end of my student teaching experience, the end of my BYU student experience, the end of my student days; it's a really weird realization.
i almost don't want student teaching to end. i've loved the opportunity to teach preschool and third grade. i haven't talked much about my experiences teaching here yet. My first placement was at the preschool on campus. i absolutely loved getting to work with all of those four-year-olds every day. i learned so much from Miss Dorie, Anne, and the other teachers there. i was able to see a truly developmentally appropriate preschool setting and learn how to best teach those children.
Currently i'm about half-way through my third grade placement. The differences between preschool and third grade are many but they still require the same thoughtfulness in instruction. Even though they can sit and listen to a lesson doesn't mean that they should only be taught that way; they still learn best when they're actively participating. i try my best to keep this in mind as i prepare each lesson and each day.
Some days feel longer and seem to be more tiring than others; but it's always worth it. i was told by my facilitator yesterday that i'm simply excelling in my teaching and that i have a wonderful teacher presence (the thing i've actually been most nervous about). He told me my constant smile and sparkly eyes help the students know i truly care about them which has helped develop the mutual respect i have with these children. it was simply the most wonderful compliment he could have given me. Definitely made my week.
Things just seemed to fall into place this week as well. i got my email today about the Teacher Work Sample saying "Hello Emme, I wanted to let you know that you have passed your Teacher Work Sample. Congratulations! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!" My cohort friends and i have been waiting for three weeks to hear the results of the TWS; from the sounds of it everyone has passed so far. The relief it brings is unbelievable. One step closer to graduation and the next step in life.
The family is making arrangements to come out for my graduation and i couldn't be more excited for them to come out and visit. Some of them will be here for a whole week!
i've also decided that i would like to plan an adventure. i was in the midst of making cupcakes today when i received a very unexpected Facebook message. An indiana friend from over a year and a half ago messaged me. He and i met when i visited indiana with Miss Momo back in 2012. We met, we clicked, we really liked each other. Things didn't end up working out between us and i hadn't talked to him since. So you can imagine my surprise to see him messaging me out of the blue. Apparently he'd been wanting to say hi to me for a few weeks and finally did. And you know what? i'm really glad he did. it was nice to hear that life was treating him well; just a good friend conversation. While we were chatting the topic of adventures came up with my graduation. i mentioned maybe New York which he fully supported. That and Niagara Falls. Then i remembered Carlos' Bakery out in Hoboken which i have been dying to visit. So i "planned" an adventure. Sometime in the next year i'm going to make it happen.
Today was the first time i've made cupcakes in months. i think i only made cupcakes one other time since the Fireman and i began dating. Time and energy for cupcakes were just never on my side throughout that relationship; not because of him. With spending time with the Fireman, student teaching, working, my church calling...i just never felt up to it. But being freshly single with time to spare now that i'm only student teaching i have all kinds of time now! And it feels like home to be spending it baking my favorite cupcakes. Check out those beauties!
i have a new favorite artist this week. Jasmine Thompson is another cover artist and i'm in love with her style. it's got the Ingrid Michaelson, Christina Perri, Julia Sheer vibe to it. Take a listen. it's simply fab.
i almost don't want student teaching to end. i've loved the opportunity to teach preschool and third grade. i haven't talked much about my experiences teaching here yet. My first placement was at the preschool on campus. i absolutely loved getting to work with all of those four-year-olds every day. i learned so much from Miss Dorie, Anne, and the other teachers there. i was able to see a truly developmentally appropriate preschool setting and learn how to best teach those children.
Currently i'm about half-way through my third grade placement. The differences between preschool and third grade are many but they still require the same thoughtfulness in instruction. Even though they can sit and listen to a lesson doesn't mean that they should only be taught that way; they still learn best when they're actively participating. i try my best to keep this in mind as i prepare each lesson and each day.
Some days feel longer and seem to be more tiring than others; but it's always worth it. i was told by my facilitator yesterday that i'm simply excelling in my teaching and that i have a wonderful teacher presence (the thing i've actually been most nervous about). He told me my constant smile and sparkly eyes help the students know i truly care about them which has helped develop the mutual respect i have with these children. it was simply the most wonderful compliment he could have given me. Definitely made my week.
Things just seemed to fall into place this week as well. i got my email today about the Teacher Work Sample saying "Hello Emme, I wanted to let you know that you have passed your Teacher Work Sample. Congratulations! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!" My cohort friends and i have been waiting for three weeks to hear the results of the TWS; from the sounds of it everyone has passed so far. The relief it brings is unbelievable. One step closer to graduation and the next step in life.
The family is making arrangements to come out for my graduation and i couldn't be more excited for them to come out and visit. Some of them will be here for a whole week!
i've also decided that i would like to plan an adventure. i was in the midst of making cupcakes today when i received a very unexpected Facebook message. An indiana friend from over a year and a half ago messaged me. He and i met when i visited indiana with Miss Momo back in 2012. We met, we clicked, we really liked each other. Things didn't end up working out between us and i hadn't talked to him since. So you can imagine my surprise to see him messaging me out of the blue. Apparently he'd been wanting to say hi to me for a few weeks and finally did. And you know what? i'm really glad he did. it was nice to hear that life was treating him well; just a good friend conversation. While we were chatting the topic of adventures came up with my graduation. i mentioned maybe New York which he fully supported. That and Niagara Falls. Then i remembered Carlos' Bakery out in Hoboken which i have been dying to visit. So i "planned" an adventure. Sometime in the next year i'm going to make it happen.
Today was the first time i've made cupcakes in months. i think i only made cupcakes one other time since the Fireman and i began dating. Time and energy for cupcakes were just never on my side throughout that relationship; not because of him. With spending time with the Fireman, student teaching, working, my church calling...i just never felt up to it. But being freshly single with time to spare now that i'm only student teaching i have all kinds of time now! And it feels like home to be spending it baking my favorite cupcakes. Check out those beauties!
i have a new favorite artist this week. Jasmine Thompson is another cover artist and i'm in love with her style. it's got the Ingrid Michaelson, Christina Perri, Julia Sheer vibe to it. Take a listen. it's simply fab.
Sunday, March 9, 2014
the point
i don't quite know what the point of this post is. Except to say that in all honesty, i'm doing great. it's been fairly hit or miss over the last month what with the dating aspect of my life.
Last weekend was rough. Doubts swirled and stormed and created new doubts and nothing i was doing (aside from career) really felt right and i couldn't figure it out. i would pray about an answer and then doubt my confirmation and it was driving me crazy. After some sound advice i realized why. This led to a complete change in the way i viewed my prayers and following answers. That led to the metaphorical weights on my shoulders being lifted and the knot in my stomach disappearing.
And for once after what felt like forever (but i'm sure was not) i felt light. Just...good. And i knew it would all turn out ok. (it helps that he took the finalness of everything so well).
i just..i get it now. And i understand the things i need to work on to truly be the person i want to be. Not that i'm a bad person now, but i want to be and can be so much more and i can see it now.
So i guess that's it, the point. That i understand now. it's a beautiful revelation, really. A light one. And it helps.
Last weekend was rough. Doubts swirled and stormed and created new doubts and nothing i was doing (aside from career) really felt right and i couldn't figure it out. i would pray about an answer and then doubt my confirmation and it was driving me crazy. After some sound advice i realized why. This led to a complete change in the way i viewed my prayers and following answers. That led to the metaphorical weights on my shoulders being lifted and the knot in my stomach disappearing.
And for once after what felt like forever (but i'm sure was not) i felt light. Just...good. And i knew it would all turn out ok. (it helps that he took the finalness of everything so well).
i just..i get it now. And i understand the things i need to work on to truly be the person i want to be. Not that i'm a bad person now, but i want to be and can be so much more and i can see it now.
So i guess that's it, the point. That i understand now. it's a beautiful revelation, really. A light one. And it helps.
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